I begged for someone to wow me and they certainly did. I've had a really bad feeling in my gut for weeks and for good reason. Where do I go from here? I wish I could disappear. I've said that before without real meaning. I've never meant it more than right now. Never before have I ever felt more unloved, unappreciated, unwanted, and alone.
We all know that life is unfair....but how long do people feel this way? When do I get my moment that I've been waiting for?
I think I'm a good person. I really do. I will give up what I have to help someone who needs it. I always try to think ahead to make things easier on the people who are around me. And yet, I am a bitch. If I am a bitch for being upset over the things that upset me, then so be it. Hi, I'm Nancy Drew and I'm a bitch. Did that wow you?
Friday, December 23, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Whatever happened to those incredible moments that just take your breath away? Those times when everything is going your way and you feel happy and complete? I've felt that before. What happened to them? I used to have joy. Now, I simply feel content. And sometimes, not even that. Lately it has been that the best thing to happen during my day is when I get a hug from one of the ladies at work. Just a simple hug. That brightens my day a bit, but even then I am not wowed. I want that WOW again. I want excitement instead of anxiety. I am tired. I am tired of not sleeping and tired of worrying about whether or not my dogs will have food next week or whether or not my utilities will be shut off again. I want something big to happen. Something good. Somebody, PLEASE.... wow me.