Today I had an incredible discovery. Incredible, yes.... but only because I knew it all along.
Brittanney and I had a talk this evening and I started to cry. Everything fell into place and I got slapped with the realization that I've never really been straight or bisexual. I've always been gay and I've been lying to myself for years. All of the relationships that I've had in the past felt like there was something missing. That wasn't only because I was with the wrong person for me, it was because I was with a male.
I remember being attracted to women at a young age and having a t.v. crush on a girl while I was in high school. The last two relationships I've had with men were lies. Yes, they made me happy because we were friends, but something was definitely missing. I tried talking to Neil about this several months before we broke up. In the end, I decided that I wanted to date a girl more than I wanted to be with Neil so, I broke up with him. I miss him because he was my best friend and an amazing person, but I know I made the right decision. I would never be completely in love if I had stayed. It wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to me.
So, here I am. Gay, Lesbian, Non-breeder, and honest. I'm finally honest with myself. Look out, ladies. No homo.
Yay for gay. I love rainbows.