Steve loves Brittanney

Steve missed Brittanney so much that decided to be her lap dog.  I'll have to admit, I got a little jealous.  But it was very sweet watching Steve get up on Brittanney's lap while she was relaxing in the recliner after work.  I know he would miss her if she was gone for more than a day... and so would I.

~Nancy Drew

Yum?

McNugget is growing like a little weed.  This was about a week or so ago and he already looks twice as big.  His feathers are coming in and he's getting a nice little attitude... just like Mommy. :)

~Nancy Drew

Hello, June

May kinda sucked ass and I'm sure June won't be too much better.  The anniversary of my parent's deaths are both this month and I dread both days.  I'm hoping I won't be too much for Brittanney to handle this month.  

I officially quit my job, so that is one less thing to worry about.

McNugget is doing very well.  I'm not sure if it's male or female so for now, I'm calling him a male.  He is growing so fast and I can't wait to start hand-feeding him.  It's going to be a chore though.  He is chirping like crazy and McLovin and Lucy are being very good parents. :)  I'm so happy to be a granny.

~Nancy Drew

McNugget

McLovin and Lucy's egg finally hatched.  It's still alive and they are being great parents.  I've named it McNugget.  I would take pictures but the parents are guarding the nest so well I can't get to it.  I'll be hand-feeding it in about a week.  I'm so excited that we have a baby.  Finally, I'm a granny!

~Nancy Drew

Maxie, Frankie, and Patty

 

~Nancy Drew

Adorable late night zoo party

Brittanney and I couldn't sleep one night so we made a video of us playing with the kittens. The dogs were so wound up and playful. Trevor is the only one who didn't play with us. He hates the cats.... because they try to nurse on him. :)

~Nancy Drew

Babies!

I am just thrilled! 

I know that I've bitched and complained on my blog for quite a while but most people who see me in person wouldn't real know that I've been depressed.  I act like things are okay.  But today, I will not complain on my blog...because we have an egg!

Lucy squirted out an egg and right now, McLovin is sitting on it.  I cannot wait to see if it develops or if Lucy lays more eggs.  Our little cockatiel factory is working overtime.  They have been having some serious bird sexy time and it looks like it's paying off.

I walked into the office because I thought the dogs were pestering the birds.  I looked in the cage and I could only see Lucy.  I looked into the nesting box and couldn't see McLovin, so I went into mini-panic and opened the cage and started to pull the box closer so I could open the top to look inside.  The instant my hand touched the box, McLovin popped his head out the door of the box and hissed and snapped at me.  I've never been happier to have a damn bird try to eat my ass.

Anyone want to take bets on how many eggs she will lay?  I bet 4.

~Nancy Drew

Bird Sexy Time

Yesterday, I put the nesting box in the cage for McLovin and Lucy.  I put Sparkles in a separate cage because cockatiels become aggressive towards each other when they are nesting.  McLovin normally turns into a devil and Lucy becomes more calm and cuddly.  The nesting box went in yesterday and both McLovin and Lucy were in it just after 10am today.  Usually, they won’t go in it for several days after I present it to them.  I guess they are in a hurry.  McLovin is doing a great job rearranging the nest and chewing on the box to ensure it’s perfect for Lucy and the babies.  I can hear him in the nest right now asking Lucy what she’s doing.  She never responds.

Sparkles is pissed.  She is pacing in her cage.  I wonder if she feels left out.  I may get a male companion for her so that she can sit.  McLovin tapped that yesterday but I’m not sure that he would nest with Sparkles.  I just don’t want to take a chance of Sparkles laying a clutch and not having a male to help sit.  It’s just not fair to her.

~Nancy Drew

Steve at the park

 

Steve shaking it off at the park.

 Steve sitting for Auntie Rachel.

 Steve was trying to give Auntie Rachel a kiss.  She didn't like it.

 Look at this gorgeous boy!

 Steve wanted to sit on the bench next to Auntie Rachel. :)

 Steve and Mommy in the park.

 Steve and Mommy playing tug of war with the leash in the park.

 Steve sitting for Mommy.

Steve shaking hands with Mommy.

Steve and I met Auntie Rachel at the park today.  He took a massive poop in the grass right as Rachel pulled up.  It was lovely... but Steve was a good boy and played really well.

~Nancy Drew

The dogs took over my bed

Last night, Steve decided to sleep long ways across my normal spot on the bed.  I was uncomfortable as I was surrounded by dogs.  They all positioned themselves so that I was wedged.  Steve's garbage truck breath was blowing in my face all night.  Kipper kept walking over my head, dragging his dong across me.  Of course, every time he did it, I would yell and Steve would snort and blow snot all over me.  The snorting would scare Kipper and he would turn around and walk across me again, dragging his wiener along.  It was a vicious cycle.

Before bed, Steve stole a half stick of butter off the counter and ate it, wrapper and all.  Then he knocked a pan of garlic bread off the stove and ate three pieces.  So, he farted all night long.  He gave me a dutch oven at one point when he was under the blanket with me.  I was covering my head to protect my face from Kipper's dick of death.

I think I will clean out my office and give the boys their own room.  Maybe then I can get some real sleep.

 

~Nancy Drew

Google and my retarded dogs

I think that my googling is out of hand.  I mean, really.  During a Skype conversation last night, I looked up my computer's history to see the things I've googled in the past week.  It was shocking to me.  Google is no longer a website or a place, it's a noun.  For me, it's an addiction.  Just to give a sample of my history from the past 7 days, here are a few things I have googled:

• est ce que tu lyrics
• Gilbert Gottfried's real voice
• How to check for bed bugs
• Was Jackie on Roseanne gay?
• how to get your book published
• Can you buy sperm online?
• Should I start therapy?
• heroin
• Why should I write a book?
• What shouldn't I tell my therapist?
• developmental psychology springfield, mo
• books that sell
• colors lyrics
• Who the hell just called me?
• hominy
• How much retirement should I have by age 30?
• Can you freeze fresh spinach?
• egg flower soup
• Is my dog retarded?
• Can therapists have you committed?
• hardcore pawn

Ok, ok.  I'm not going to list all of the searches but this should give any of my readers a good idea of how nutso I am.  Nutso or not, I did learn a great deal from Google this week.  Gilbert Gottfried's real voice is soooo damn creepy.  I'd rather hear that high-pitched,  fake, woman-in-distress squawk than his real voice anyday.  Yes, you can buy sperm online.  I'm not sure which is more disturbing, the fact that you can buy sperm online or that I was curious enough to Google it.  While I googled "Why should I write a book, " I found a very sad and depressing blog about why I SHOULDN'T write a book.  Great.  That's why I'm blogging right now instead of writing on my book... or googling.  Is my dog retarded?  I'm pretty sure that at least 2 of them are.

I'll explain...

Bert spent approximately 5 hours yesterday with duct tape wrapped around his ears.  He was just as happy as ever.  I woke up in the middle of the night and actually felt a twinge of guilt that I would tape my dog just to pull myself out of depression.  So, I snuggled Bert up close to me and kissed him on the head, slowly removed the duct tape, and then proceeded to announce to him that he's a dumbass.  He yawned, circled three or four times, and went back to sleep.  Cute...but dumb.  Bert is also my boy who has an extreme fascination with his own tail.  He chases it.  I mean, chases it like if he doesn't succeed in catching it, the world will end.  He stops at nothing to retrieve that blasted tail.  Smacking into walls, Steve's legs, nor furniture will stop him.  When I see him twirling after his heiny, I swear I can hear him saying, "I'm gonna getcha, I'm gonna getcha, I'm gonna getcha!"


Then, there is Scuba Steve.  Now, I'm not sure if Steve is mentally challenged or if he is just extremely clumsy.  Today, I watched him do a very impressive spin on my freshly mopped living room floor.  Trying to catch up with Bert, he appeared to attempt a triple lutz without success.  I watched in horror as I saw my big man's legs fly up and in slow motion, he landed face first onto the hardwood.  Had he really been ice skating, I'm sure the cold would have felt much better than the wet hardwood.  Bless him.  Within a second of his face plant, he jumped to his feet and snorted like a bull.  Of course, I grabbed him and looked him over to make sure he was okay.  That was a serious fall that scared me as much as it scared him.  Steve was fine... and so was my hardwood.  Yes, he hit so hard, I checked for a crack in the floor too.

Google is an invaluable tool to me.  I'm not sure that I consider my retarded dogs 'tools,' but they are definitely invaluable too.  They fill a void for me and make me feel not so alone.  Google gives me the answers, but my retarded dogs give me the love that I need.  They satisfy my need for human interaction and allow me to feel somewhat normal.  Retarded or not, I love them.

~Nancy Drew

Bert, the good sport

Not all of my boys have learned to stay away from Mommy during her days of depression.  Sometimes the only thing that can cheer me up is a little bit of duct tape.  I'm sure Bert will learn soon.  He wasn't very happy during the first picture, but I am thankful he was there to assist in putting a smile on my face.

~Nancy Drew

Gardens & Destruction

Steve and I had our picture taken by the Grant Beach Community Garden sign a few days ago.  They said they would email the pictures to me.  I got one picture but it wasn't the good one!  But... I thought I would share it anyway.  Don't judge.  I was sweaty from running and my hair was a mess.

I came home from work to find my couches moved, my bathroom rugs relocated to the living room, and a dvd case shredded on top of the couch.  (Couch cushins were removed last night before bed to prevent further destruction.)

This was after I moved the couch back into place.  The loveseat is still out away from the wall.

This was once the DVD case that held "PS I Love You". Dammit.

~Nancy Drew



Escape

I watched the neighbor's little girl coax Bert to the fence and then bend the metal to allow enough room for him to squeeze through.  I was pissed.  I watched her do it!  So, I got to go outside in my pajamas to get Bert.  I told the girls to stop playing with the dogs through the fence and maybe he would stay inside the yard.  But the kids are young and I'm sure they'll keep doing it.  But for now, I cannot trust my dogs outside alone.  It's like I don't have a fence at all.  Shit.

~Nancy Drew

More damn noodles!



Bert and I had a great day in town.  He got a shot at the vet but was very well mannered.  After we got home, we decided to go for a walk.  I took Kipper out first.  We walked around the block and through part of the park.  Kipper peed every 3 steps but seemed to have a good time in the sunshine.  Then I took Steve.  He practically pulled me down the street.  We met up with some people putting up a sign for our community garden.  They took a picture of me and Steve next to the sign.  It's going to be pretty cool having a community garden.  I'm going to try to volunteer and become more active with my neighborhood association.  I gave them my email address and they say they will email the pic to me.  If it's not too bad of a picture after I get it, I'll post it.  After Steve and I finished our lap around the block, I took Trevor and Bert out at the same time.  They are the same size so it's easy to walk them together.  Trevor and Steve pooped.  I remembered the baggies! :)

 



While Steve and I were walking, Bert found another package of ramen noodes and decided to open them on the couch.  Thanks, boy.

He is so proud of that little mess.

Trevor was sure to hoard his part of the new package of noodles.

Bert and Steve playing with a rabbit on the deck. (a toy.  not a real rabbit.)

Trevor on the deck after his walk.

Steve cuddling with the rabbit.

Steve looks so happy! 

Bert was chillin on the deck after his walk. :)

Kipper brought the rabbit to me but Steve grabbed it before I could throw it.

Steve and Bert fighting for the rabbit again.

Lunch!  Did you know that celery is actually yummy if you peel it?!

~Nancy Drew