Incredible Moments

Whatever happened to those incredible moments that just take your breath away?  Those times when everything is going your way and you feel happy and complete?  I've felt that before.  What happened to them?  I used to have joy.  Now, I simply feel content.  And sometimes, not even that.  Lately it has been that the best thing to happen during my day is when I get a hug from one of the ladies at work.  Just a simple hug.  That brightens my day a bit, but even then I am not wowed.  I want that WOW again.  I want excitement instead of anxiety.  I am tired.  I am tired of not sleeping and tired of worrying about whether or not my dogs will have food next week or whether or not my utilities will be shut off again.  I want something big to happen.  Something good.  Somebody, PLEASE.... wow me.


~Nancy Drew

New Job

I started a new job today.  It was a lot of fun and I'm sure I will enjoy it for a while.  I also got a haircut.  I kinda wish I hadn't got it cut but what can I do now?  It won't take long for it to grow out again.  


I'm on the verge of losing everything I have.  I'm behind on every bill.  I'll be out of power in a few days and I'm probably going to lose my house.  I'm busting my ass to save what I have but I feel like I'm digging the hole a little bit deeper every day.


I've fought depression for months.  I'm losing the battle.  I've tried to stay positive and not let anyone know how sad and afraid I have been.  I guess I should try harder.  I can't keep lying to everyone about how I'm doing.  


When does this all get better?  Someone please tell me.


~Nancy Drew

Lonely

I miss this beautiful woman.

~Nancy Drew

Decisions

Every decision I make, I feel like it's the wrong one.  I never know when to follow my heart or what.  I used to make good decisions but now, I don't.  I used to be able to decide things and not worry that I've made the wrong choice.  What ever happened to no regrets?  I know that what is done is done but I can't help but wonder if I should have taken a different path.  Maybe I should have listened to my brain instead of my heart.  Maybe I shouldn't want things so bad.  Maybe I should stop being so selfish and spoiled.  I've worked for what I have and I have no intention of losing it but I think I just made a huge mistake.


~Nancy Drew

WORK!

I am trying so hard to find a job!  I don't want to stress about money anymore.  I want a job that I don't dread going to every day.  I want a job that pays actual money instead of peanuts.  It's going to be difficult once I find something because we only have one vehicle right now.  I'm glad I didn't buy a new car in February like I had planned but I wish we had two cars right now.  Job hunting would be so much easier if Brittanney and I each had our own cars.


~Nancy Drew