The dogs took over my bed

Last night, Steve decided to sleep long ways across my normal spot on the bed.  I was uncomfortable as I was surrounded by dogs.  They all positioned themselves so that I was wedged.  Steve's garbage truck breath was blowing in my face all night.  Kipper kept walking over my head, dragging his dong across me.  Of course, every time he did it, I would yell and Steve would snort and blow snot all over me.  The snorting would scare Kipper and he would turn around and walk across me again, dragging his wiener along.  It was a vicious cycle.

Before bed, Steve stole a half stick of butter off the counter and ate it, wrapper and all.  Then he knocked a pan of garlic bread off the stove and ate three pieces.  So, he farted all night long.  He gave me a dutch oven at one point when he was under the blanket with me.  I was covering my head to protect my face from Kipper's dick of death.

I think I will clean out my office and give the boys their own room.  Maybe then I can get some real sleep.

 

~Nancy Drew